I've gotten a lot of concerns from people worried about the situation I'm in. While they are appreciated, I hope ya'll know I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my family. What I would do, is go to bat for someone who needs and deserves it.
When I tell you John doesn't have a malicious bone in his body, I'm not exaggerating. I wish one of my EX's would comment to confirm that I am A LOT to handle! I'm annoying, needy, aggravating, childish, and at times spiteful. How my man has put up with me for the last five years is beyond me, but I'm glad he does.
I wasn't sure how to process the guilty verdict. As stated in a few of my other posts, I was angry, bitter, hateful. I wanted revenge against every one. I hated life, I was heart broken, mentally drained. At the time I was working 30+ hrs of OT just so I didn't have time to feel. I was taking my daughter to doctors appointments because she's been sick for the last two years and not one specialist can figure out what is going on. I was planning a graduation party and trying to enjoy the last few months of my daughters HS career.
I was being challenged and tempted by everyone. The hate consumed me, until I asked God to let it go. Free me of the revenge and spitefulness. I don't want to be angry the rest of my life, I don't want to be hateful. Here we are, 4 months into the worst nightmare and I feel absolutely nothing towards the people who caused this. God took the hate and anger and allowed me to use my platform to advocate and share the truth with everyone.
I've replayed this whole situation in my head a million times, and I know I sound crazy. Some might say I haven't known John long enough to know what he is capable of, and others who have met him are in my corner and say "no way was this intentional". Where was the intent?
I've had access to the video for about three weeks, and I'd watch it religiously every night for 4 hours. I couldn't find anything. I asked God the first week to give me some type of sign. I was feeling defeated and nothing was going my way. One negative thing after another kept popping up and I was legit at my breaking point. I spent 84 hours dissecting every second of this video. Stop. play. pause. rewind. stop. play. pause. rewind.
I watched it one last time before bed last Sunday. It was 11:30pm and I wanted to count down the seconds from every movement that was made. Something was off. I stopped it when the individual was coming off the porch fist in a ball. He stopped, turned around, took a second, and continued with his aggressive behavior. However, this time I noticed something in his right hand.
In the video both his hands are clenched to make a fist, but his right hand wasn't closed all the way. Hmmm, that's odd. I played it and paused it when he was fixing his chains, his left hand is open while fixing it but his right hand remained at a half clenched fist as if he was holding something in his hand.
I played it again and solely focused on his right hand throughout the video. I didn't pick up on it, until the second individual jumped off the porch with his hands clenched in a fist. I did the same thing with the second individual, I focused on the right hand and compared it to the left. Hmm, that's odd. Both individuals are only punching with their right fist and their left fists are open. I instantly started shaking. I became angry, excited, overwhelmed, angry again, baffled, and hurt.
After my discovery I wanted to watch more, typically when ONE shady thing is overlooked there are more. I stayed up till 2am watching this video and I'm glad I did. The week before I was defeated, angry I haven't gotten one update, no changes, and my man is miserable. I begged God every night to give me a sign, show me something, guide me, help me, anything. That Sunday night was a perfect night to discover what I believe is malicious behavior, premeditated, and it didn't come from John.
I wanted to make sure what I just watched was accurate, so I called one of my girlfriends to see if she could meet me at Panera to go over every thing. I played the video for her and her mouth dropped. She asked to play it again and she sat back in her chair and said "I knew it". I played the video 30 other times normal speed and it's too fast to pick up every thing. I didn't know how to slow it down so I had to keep pausing it at every section.
She didn't see what I saw at first, but she pointed something else out that I had missed. I watched it again and she was accurate. I played it again at normal speed and pointed out the two things that I discovered the night before. We both sat back in our chairs at Panera, looked at each other and said "what in the actual FLIP" (I'm trying NOT to swear). We watched it 60 more times, same thing. Stop. pause. rewind. play.
After two hours of going over every thing, I have a million questions! How did we miss this, how was this not brought up, how were the other people not charged? The video is clear as day. John was ambushed, took several blows to the head with weapons in hands. Stomps and kicks to the face, yet you expect him to be coherent within 0.8 seconds? A man who was going to pick up his daughter for family dinner, like he did every Sunday...even after THAT phone call. You based your case on a text that said "guess there is a problem now pick me up down the road", but never questioned WHY she didn't answer the phone, or respond when he called and text her back?
Several bystanders were seen trampling all over the "crime" scene, the witnessess were never seperated, shell casing never recovered, the weapons/tools used to beat John never looked for, the 4th person on the porch never spoke up. SEVENTEEN minutes of the video, MISSING. See, I might appear to be dumb and clueless, but when it comes to the people I love I ALWAYS make sure my I's are dotted, and my T's are crossed. I do research, like NO ONE's business and I am hell bent on exposing the TRUTH and corruption! You aren't as as inconspicuous as you hoped.
It all makes sense now, why ONE of the individuals involved went and met with an attorney, separate from the DA/prosecutors. You didn't need an attorney unless you were hiding something, and according to this video, you are definitely hiding the fact that you set this whole damn thing up, looking for a payout. Newsflash, he has ZERO!
All I know, is after watching that video a million times and analyzing every detail of it, I can officially say YOU got away with murder!
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