October is breast cancer awareness month, get the ladies checked!
This time last year, I noticed a lump on my left breast and made an appointment with my doctor immediately. She did an exam and found some abnormalities, then made a referral for a mammogram. I called to schedule, and they squeezed me in for October 8th. The mammogram came back with a "mass," but because they didn't have other images to compare it to, they wanted to wait 6 months for another scan.
I went for the second scan two weeks after John's guilty verdict. I remember sitting in the waiting room, wanting to die because I had absolutely nothing left to give. I was unfazed, bitter, and angry. When this originally came up, I told John after being a ball of nerves. He knew something was up after I was acting "secretive" one weekend. I ended up telling him and blew it off like it was no big deal. I didn't want him to worry or stress since he was still dealing with the stressors in his life.
John is similar to me. He wears his heart on his sleeve and never shows emotions. You'd never know when he was stressed, anxious, hurt, or angry. He buried those feelings deep and only showed the "I'm grateful for life" side. I knew that me being worried would only make him worry. I acted like everything was fine, but he didn't.
He knew I was scared, but he didn't bring it up or push the issue. He showed comfort in his own way, and although I didn't know it at the time, I know now how and why he did the things he did. This man is truly the most sensitive man I've ever been with.
The scan in March showed the same mass, and they diagnosed it as benign. My God is good all the time. What is the number one question the doctor asks when meeting you for the first time, or any medical staff? Do you have a history of "x y z"? You know what my answer is? "I don't know my family history at all, I was adopted." Once they hear that, they order all kinds of tests to rule out certain illnesses to get a better diagnosis.
Fast forward to September. I started getting a nasty cough that drives me nuts! I didn't think much of it and chalked it up to a smoker's cough. Yet last week, I realized this cough has been lingering around for approximately 4-5 weeks. When I get a cough from smoking, it's usually a few days. I have since become so exhausted that I am literally struggling to get up in the morning. I've been cold, hot, weak, with body pains. I mean, why not? I did turn 41 in June!
I decided to check the girls out on my own last week after developing some minor pain in the left one. Something felt "off." I didn't notice the same shape in the right one, so I continued to rub my fingers underneath. I was panicked for a quick minute, so I jumped out of bed to look at my nipple (get a grip, this is normal life). Hmm, the color is off. I gave myself a quick glance in the mirror before hitting "Google." This is never a good idea for obvious reasons!
Nothing I searched came back showing breast cancer, but the fact that I haven't called the JAC yet baffles me. Part of me just doesn't have time, and the other part can't handle one more thing. I am already stretched incredibly thin, this would set me back tremendously. Selfish, probably. Will I schedule, eventually. I'm trying to wait for things to slow down before I commit to missing a day of work.
For those of you not checking, or debating whether or not to schedule, just do it. Life is way too precious to miss out on. Take care of your girls, always!
Jeremiah 30:17: For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord
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