Silence

I met with an attorney on Tuesday (April 16th). I wanted to run a situation by her to see if we had a fighting chance. I explained the situation to her and unfortunately, we don't have a case. She asked me about the criminal case, and without going into detail she said, "is this the Campbell man". I said "yes". She said, "I followed a little bit on the news, and it sounded like a set-up to me". Wait, what? That's exactly what it was...and you were able to piece it together with the LITTLE information you got from the media? Yes, finally!! The truth is starting to circulate. People who have read about it, or followed the news KNOW something doesn't sound right. BINGO, it doesn't! So how did we get a guilty verdict? How did officials in the court room overhear jurors be persuaded by other officials? How did this situation escalate so quickly? Your guess is as a good as mine, but I can guarantee you I won't stay quiet much longer.

I left the office some what defeated. I really wanted to challenge MCJ. I sat in my car thinking and praying, asking God for guidance on my next move. I didn't get much of a response, or a sign so I drove back home. I thought about what this attorney said about "sounds like a set-up", where did this come from? Any one who knows me, knows I've done some shady stuff as a young adult, but the second I had my oldest, every thing changed. I changed. I was a better person because of my girls, and I will continue to do the right thing. If I believed or thought for any second that JM fired his weapon with ill intenet, there is NO way I'd stand by his side supporting him. I'm not one of those dumb girls, blinded by love.

I wanted revenge, I wanted people to suffer the way we have for two years. He was painted to be this malicious killer and he was the polar opposite. The one thing I've learned from all of this, don't ever believe the news. I've heard from multiple people, totally random people "something doesn't sound right with this case". Nope, you're 10000% right. Something is off, but what? I spent the last two years researching casestudies, Ohio laws, stand your ground, etc. I was determined to find the truth, even if it meant I had to do sketchy stuff.

I had two of my bestfriends google searching individuals, digging up dirt. You'd be amazed at what we found. I then went as far as pricing "detective" supplies. I swear I missed my calling. I should have absolutely been a private investigator and opened my own business! I found every thing I needed to find, with the help of good friends within two days. I sat on the information for a week asking God to guide me on how to expose these individuals, as I'd ruin a lot of lives by posting things.

A week goes by and I'm no longer vengeful. I'm no longer hateful, I'm actually the opposite. I quit fixating on revenge and started talking to God more. I spent six weeks bitter and miserable, truly hateful. I hated everyone and everything. God took it from me the second I started praying. The second I started asking for guidance, the truth, and forgiveness is the second my whole mindset changed.

Shortly after sentencing John was sent to CRC holding, until he got assigned his "parent" institution. He completed three days of intake and assessments. He met with several medical professionals and clinical staff. Due to his suicide attempt in February he was still on suicide watch and restricted from calls and visits. However, one of the kind ladies doing his intake allowed him to call me to let me know he was okay.

We talked briefly and he explained what was going on. He said "i'll call you when I can". A week went by and they allowed him to make another supervised call. He told me every one he met with and the programs they offer in prison. He told me once he gets his level he'll know what prison he is going to and if he had to guess he'd be classified at a 3/4 for his charges. We all kind of knew it would be a higher level and crappy prison, but it still made me sick.

I prayed every night for God to protect him whever he went. I prayed God would heal his heart and work on his mental. I asked God for strength and thanked him for saving John. I prayed for comfort and peace. Every single night I prayed.

John calls me a few days later and he is out of suicide watch and allowed to make calls. He went into more detail about the intake process and what it entailed. They told him that the prisons offer mental health support and they encouraged him to sign up. John agreed but wouldn't be able to do anything until his parent instituation. This was just a holding center. We were told he would be there 3-4 months and we were only a month in.

Two weeks after his assessment (a friday) he met with the case worker and he was given his level and parent institution. John calls to tell me "I'm a level two and going to Belmont". I was thrilled over the level two but sick over Belmont. I did my research and Belmont was infiltrated with drugs and gangs. My man will never survive Belmont. My heart sunk but I didn't mention it to John.

I was able to schedule my first visit at CRC for Monday May 28th. It was a 3.5 hour drive and the visit was scheduled for 8am Monday morning. I decided to drive down Sunday afternoon, after church and get a hotel room. I got to Columbus around 6pm and checked into my hotel. It was weird without him, but I survived it. I got settled in the hotel and went to get dinner by my lonesome. So lame, but there's a first for everything.

I got back to the hotel, took a shower and started blogging. My JM called me around 8pm excited for the visit. We hung up around 10pm, and I finished typing. I started crying as I was typing and my phone rang. It was JM. I was excited but confused as he typically doesn't call after 10pm. It was now 11p and way past his bed time. I answered the phone and he asked what I was doing. I was still in the middle of crying and he picked up on it. I explained to him why and he says "oh". He then says "I have some bad news, I'm getting shipped out tomorrow". I was crushed. I drove all the way out here, got a hotel and now I can't even see you. Whatever, this is our luck.

I spent the rest of the night with a chair in front of the door, crying in bed with a box of snack mix. I finally fell asleep at 4am and was up by 7am ready to come home. I spent the 3.5 hours listening to worship music and wondering how he was going to survive Belmont. I knew he wasn't able to call for a few days as he has to go through the intake process at the new prison.

I was a nervous wreck for two days. I do this crap to myself and it's so unnecessary. I finally got the call at 6am. I was working a midnight shift and I got a weird number coming across my phone. When you're a prison SO you answer and and every number you don't know. He said "hey I'm here and I'm not at Belmont I'm at Noble". Again, I instantly started crying. They were happy tears though, like my God showed up again! At this point, I couldn't believe it. We got a level 2 and he's NOT at Belmont.

I didn't know much about Noble as it was one I didn't do research on, it wasn't even an option. Yet I did my research that day and oh my gosh it's perfect, for a prison. They had mental health services, case management, church, gardening, and therapy dogs! Ehh, this is exactly what he needed. My God is absolutely amazing!

My prayers were answers and I knew I had to make some changes in my personal life, but I was a work in progress.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go