Queens

I had four years to reinvent myself. The first three years I spent doing everything and anything I could for my girls. Anyone who knows me, knows I have dedicated my whole life around my BEBS. I've inherited the name "crazy" because of them. I was trying to make up for their father not being around, so I wanted to make it perfectly clear to everyone that a MAN was not needed to protect and watch over them. I was perfectly capable of doing it myself.

I might have taken it a bit far some days, but for the most part I was all bark, never bite!

I was also a fanatic over manners and respect. Ohhh, if my girls didn't use their manners in public or disrespected an adult, it was over for them. At a young age they knew what the "look" was, and they knew what it meant. To this day, at ages (almost 21) and 18, if they see the look they know they're doomed! = )

I often wonder how I lucked out with two of the most thoughtful, kind-hearted, smart, and well-mannered girls. I look at them most nights and thank God, he gave them to me when he did. I couldn't imagine my life without them. I'm not joking, if you knew where I was at 19 you would totally understand and know exactly how grateful and blessed, I am for them! I still get chills thinking about how everything unraveled in 2002/2003. My greatest accomplishments in life!

In 2017 I quit my salary job to go work part time for a drug/alcohol facility. I had NO idea what I was getting myself into. Luckily, I saw a familiar face who welcomed me with open arms. I was extremely timid my first few weeks there. I hid in the corner and barely talked to anyone. Then one day during smoke break one of the co-workers pulled me aside and said, "I'm going to need you to start interacting with the patients". My mouth dropped and I mumbled "I don't know how to talk to them". If I didn't know any better, I'd say she wanted to punch me by the look on her face. LOL

This co-worker broke it down for me, she said "who are you, these people aren't any different then you and I-they are still people". The light bulb went off and Meg has been going strong for the last 7 years! The amazing people I have met on this journey have truly been some of the most amazing people I have met in my life. Humble, compassionate, intelligent, and kind. I couldn't have asked for better co-workers or patients! Three months into the job they offered me a full-time position. I was hesitant at first because I already had a full-time job. The boss at the time begged me to work for him full-time, and because I had amazing co-workers-I accepted!

In 2018, after being disgusted with my weight (280lbs) I convinced some of the co-workers to do a biggest loser challenge at work. We had wellness coaches at our fingertips willing and eager to assist, why not take advantage? We started in September and by December I was down 22lbs. Not only was I feeling better, but I started to get some confidence back. Our challenge was over in January but because I noticed the change with my physical and mental health I kept pushing through. I changed my eating habits and worked out more and actually enjoyed it! I lost most of my weight at home in my basement doing workouts I learned online, and walking. I LOVE walking!

In August of 2019 I was down to 198lbs and feeling like a QUEEN! What did the queen do, she joined an online dating app!! I joined POF, like a CLOWN! I had conversations with a few different local men and caved when they asked to meet. One I met at a park and the other I met at a restaurant. BOTH men were NOT who they were on their profile! I'm not an ignorant person so I stayed the whole time for both dates, gave a hug at the end and deleted POF after the second catfish! My self-esteem was crushed again. Even with an 80+lb weight-loss, I can't meet anyone normal. It must be me, right? That's the only thing going through my head after two failed dates. It has to be me!