Hoping and praying 2025 brings you wealth, good health, and positive outcomes.
I woke up this morning with the same attitude I went to bed with last night. Eh, feeling defeated. I'm hoping it's a seasonal depression and with the Holidays it peaks worse. I miss the days where the girls had friends over to ring in the New Year.
We'd play games, stuff our face with all the delicious foods, and run to the front porch banging pots and pans when the clock struck 12.
Last night I was in bed by 9p. The oldest celebrated with friends and the youngest stayed home with her boyfriend. I would have much rather played games while waiting for the ball to drop, but this year, eh what a struggle.
Maybe it's just the month of December that brings me down. Maybe because it's the first Christmas without movie nights, or binge fests on the couch. Maybe I just have to get through every first and as the years go by, they get better. Whatever this miserable feeling is, I hope it vanishes soon. I have too much planned to stay idle for this long. Pray for us.
Do you know the significance of eating pork and sauerkraut for New Years Day? For 41 years I had no idea why it was an American tradition. A co-worker told me yesterday it had something to do with pigs digging in the ground in a forward motion. I had to confirm this with google and low and behold when pigs root they do it in a moving forward motion, giving us the meaning of "New Year".
So whatever heartache, financial downfall, or poor health you received in 2024 you shall leave in 2024. God will bless you tenfold in 2025 if you surrender, trust, and believe. While this last month has been exceptionally difficult for me, I have to learn to trust and let go.
This month I have been more bitter and angry then in the last 10 months. While reviewing John's trial and appeal I have become hate filled. Even talking about it makes me angry.
I have no New Year's resolution. I have no goals, no dreams, nothing to look forward to. The only thing I plan on working on is being kinder than the previous years. Giving back has been a tremendous dream of mine, even in the smallest form. If I can create a company that strictly gives back to the community (even people outside) I would love to do that. I don't know how it looks or what it entails, but this would be the only thing I would love to accomplish in the New Year.
I am often greeted by people who don't say "hello" at the counters, don't acknowledge my existence. I can never figure out why people treat me that way, until I looked in the mirror. My face is miserable looking. I look mean, unphased. I don't know how to change that. I don't smile at people, or I'll give a half smile because I absolutely hate my mouth/teeth/smile. Yet people don't understand that. They just assume I'm a miserable ginger.
I don't feel like I need to defend myself as most people who get to know me, adore me (yes, I'm being cocky). I am quiet and shy. After 15 years of horrible social anxiety, I have finally been medicated to mask some of my fears. I avoid confrontation at all costs unless my girls are in some sort of danger.
Maybe I'll try to smile more in 2025, or attack some of my fears. I doubt it, but I can try. LOL
Whatever 2025 brings I hope it's good fortune, a healthy heart/mind, and lots of laughter. I hope and pray all of you remain healthy and are blessed with good fortune.
Romans 15:13 ~ May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
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