I spent two years trying to keep John's situation a secret from people, mainly the people I work with. There were a select few who knew from the news back in 2022, but for the most part I did a pretty good job hiding it.
That was, until I took the stand, and the articles came out on Vindy and wkbn. I stayed away from the news during those 8 days, but that didn't stop people from sending me the articles. I wasn't sure how this was going to affect me once I returned to work. I knew people were going to talk, judge, and gossip. I just wish they would come to me first.
For the most part everyone was respectful. Some were overly nice, and some avoided me all together. If I wasn't getting the "look", it was the cold shoulder. Nothing out of the normal when you see someone's name tied to a "murder" case.
Earlier this week I met with a client who had the look of "sorrow" on their face. I was like "yo you good". She said, "can I sit". She then said, "I am so sorry". Confused, I replied "why".
She said, "I had no idea what you were going through or dealing with and sometimes when I see you, you have this look that screams HELP ME". I kind of chuckled but instantly felt the tears building up. I did everything to keep them from pouring down my face, but I couldn't help it.
I asked how she knew, and she said, "I google searched your name". This is exactly why I hate giving people my last name. She expressed her sympathy towards my situation and had a million questions. I listened to her as she talked but kindly explained "I do not discuss my personal life with clients". I assured her that my personal life has never interfered with my professional, and if there ever comes a point it does, I will gracefully move on.
She was respectful and understood. I just think she was shocked when she discovered I had a million things going on yet still show up to handle the million needs of everyone else.
My facial expressions often give me a way. I either have the angry look, or annoyed and frustrated. Wait, I also have the confusion look down to perfection. When I hear certain people talk, I often look at them like "who you lying to". Ahhh, my face truly does say it all.
I can imagine word is going to spread and the secret I've been keeping will eventually be the latest gossip. We're approaching a year on the 28th, and I'm surprised it's taken some of them this long.
I'm exhausted.
Matthew 11:28-30
"Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest
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