Fugly Celebrations

I had a nervous breakdown today, or maybe it was a tantrum? At 40 years old I can't decipher what it is anymore. All I know is I am extremely overwhelmed and flooded with emotions. It's been so bad that I've had to rely on my anxiety meds to get any kind of comfort. I've never experienced so many panic attacks back-to-back.

I need to follow my own advice and find some coping techniques that work. I can't remember the last time I took a day for myself to unwind and regroup. I truly miss my workouts, my walks, my music therapy. I simply cannot find the time to do any self-care! Even if it's just 30 minutes of sitting in a room by myself. Do you ever get sick and tired of people depending on you? Eh, the guilt I have if I don't do everything and anything for the people in my circle.

Anyhow, this week was exceptionally busy for the BEB's an I. My youngest beauty had her SENIOR night for softball followed by a prom-posal, and the oldest turned the BIG 21 (TWENTY-ONE). I'm having a hard time believing my baby is a SENIOR and the oldest a legal adult! How did we get here? My babies aren't babies anymore and I'm not okay with it!

We celebrated the birthday at the casino, her choice. I bought her the SASH that says, "it's my 21'st birthday" and when she opened it up, we realized it came with other sashes. I wore the BAD and BOOZY one, my gf and mother wore the PARTY CRASHER sash, and her GP wore HERE FOR THE BEER, which was the most accurate one! I'm not sure who was more excited to wear the sash, my daughter or me!

I'm pretty sure I had to force the rest of the party to wear those, but they did. They wore them all the way to the casino. I couldn't help but laugh as mine was the most inaccurate one of them all. The party splits up and I stick with the BFF. She shows me around and sits me at a machine and BAM, I won 10 free spins instantly! On the 10th spin I win 7 more and by the 7th one I am up $75. I NEVER WIN AT THE CASINO!!

We run into the rest of the party crew, and I noticed NO ONE was wearing their SASH!!! Me and the BFF look at each other like "what buzz kills", but we were kind of glad as they wouldn't stay up. We play a few more slots before deciding to dip. I wanted to walk out with all of my money.

We hit up a local bar and shared drinks, laughter, and made up for lost time. I realized one thing that night. Laughter is the best medicine for a broken soul. No matter where life takes you, make sure to laugh in between the heartache.

Whenever you feel overwhelmed, take time out to do some self-loving. It's okay to step away and count to 10. It's perfectly acceptable to tell people "I can't tonight", or "I'm struggling". Don't ever feel obligated to do more than you can handle. It's about balance and boundaries.

As wild as this week was, I look back to Tuesday and remember why I do it all. These precious girls of mine are worth every chaotic day!

Enjoy the recap of our Tuesday night!