I mentioned in another post that I am extremely over-protective of my girls. I always felt like I needed to make up for their father not being present. Not to mention, these girls didn't ask for any of the crap they were dealt, so if I can protect them from most of the BS that's exactly what I am going to do.
I made sure my girls were active in sports and extracurricular activities. I wanted them to have a "normal" life. I didn't want them to think they were different from the kids who had both parents. I'm almost positive everyone in town knew I was the "crazy" mom. I was labeled that during 8u softball and at 21/18 years old, it's still true. I am that "crazy" mom.
In November of 2019 I was sitting at a basketball game watching my oldest cheer. She was a sophomore cheering for JV so I only stayed to watch the first game. I waited for her afterwards to let he know I was leaving and to squeeze her before I left. She seemed "out of it" but when I asked if she was okay, she said "yeah" and went with her friends. I walked out and by the time I got to my car I had a 4-paragraph text from her. I read the first sentence and knew this was something I was going to have to sit down for and focus.
I got settled in my car and started reading the text. I became sick to my stomach, infuriated, and vengeful. I had no clue what my next step was, but I knew I had to be a mother. I waited for her to get home that night and we talked. I asked her to explain it again in detail. I, unfortunately had her repeat it a million times because I, to know what it's like to be a "victim" and have bystanders call you a liar. Her story was the same, nothing changed. Okay, this is it. I am in full mama bear mode.
I did my own investigating. At this point the secret was out. My daughter wasn't staying quiet any longer, and rightfully so. Unfortunately, it caused her a lot of harassment from her freaking FRIEND group! Her girlfriends, nonetheless. She became alienated and shunned from every kid (minus two) from her class. I didn't want to believe it at first, so I demanded to see the messages they were sending her. Freaking horrific. "You're lying he would never do that just kill yourself". Hold the front MFIN door, excuse you? Once again, I am flooded with emotions. I am filled with rage, but my heart is aching.
I had no idea what to do so I went to the school and requested a meeting with the VP. I explained the situation, his response "I know the kid and have a pretty decent relationship with him from when I was at --- school i'll talk to him and see what's going on and get back to you". Dumb me, accepted that answer and waited for his call for an update. Surprisingly he called and said, "I talked to him, and it won't continue, or he knows he'll be done with football". Ok, at least the harassment and shoulder checking in between classes will stop.
A few days go by, and someone sends me a "snap". It was a video of a non-consensual sexual video that had circulated amongst the football team. Oh, I am in full blown psycho mode. Not just a little crazy, we done lost our MOFO mind! My daughter is texting me in the middle of me finding this video. She is currently at school where the video is being shared. Another football player caught her at her locker and said, "man that aint cool at all", referring to the STAR football player sharing said video! I called the school instantly and demanded a meeting with the VIP, AD, and football coach. It was scheduled two days later.
I go in this meeting, with pictures, screen shots of messages, and the video. Not one of them had the balls to look at the pictures, text (actually they were snap chat messages), or video. Not one of them wanted to address it. Not ONE. I said my peace and explained to them how incredibly lucky they were that my daughter has already been through so much that I was NOT going to get the police involved. I am NOT joking when I tell you, THREE grown ass men couldn't even make eye contact with me when discussing the seriousness of the events that unraveled over three months, NOT ONE. Sickening!
I've consulted a few people at this point, all who have encouraged me (us) to make a police report. I finally convince my daughter that it is the right thing to do. I call our local PD who encouraged me to file a complaint with the resource officer of the school. I contacted the school and requested a THIRD meeting. This time with the P, VP, and Super. I did more research and wasn't back down. Do any of you know what a title 9 coordinator is, within the school? I suggest you find out whether or not your district has one! It might save you in the future.
I requested to file a complaint with the school's title 9 coordinator. Mind you, I am in this meeting with the P, VP, and Super. The three of them looked at each other puzzled and said, "okay you can do that, that is your right". When I asked who the title 9 coordinator was, they didn't have an answer. Guess, what? They didn't have a title 9 coordinator! TF? How does a school not have a T9C? I'm laughing at this point, utterly disgusted. I was told they would have answers within a day, and I would be able to file my complaint with their T9C (that they didn't have-until I mentioned it).
I get a call and guess who is now the T9C? The principal. Shocker, huh? I am scheduled to go in to make my complaint with the state and guess what happens? COVID happened! The world stopped. You have a certain amount of time to file a complaint through the state and with school being closed for 18 months, her time was up. I'm not sure if COVID saved her or made things worse.
She finished her sophomore and junior year remote learning. She had two good girlfriends who supported her through everything. Having 7 months off school helped, but it was awkward when she returned. I give her credit, I never would have gone back to that school. Not after the messages, physical harm, or name calling. Nope, I'm a coward!
She hasn't seen much of any one in those 7 months, not even the abuser. Do you know this MF had the nerve to text her when they went back to school? She ended up blocking him, and guess what? This MFER started messaging her sister! Her freaking baby sister! I have no problem gutting a fish!
I am now at a basketball game for my youngest. This MFER walks in like he's the kingpin of the school. He goes over and sits in the student section. If y'all know me, you know where I am sitting. On the other end of the bleacher's closets to the doors. I see my daughter tense up as he is staring at her and the whole junior class laughing. Guess what? This mama bear walked her ass over to the student section and sat right in front of the loser. I waited for the national anthem to be over and everyone to be seated. I had to take a couple breaths before I unleashed.
I turned around, looked at him dead in the face and said "if you ever contact my daughters again it'll be the biggest mistake you make". I think I said a few other choice words and walked away like a bad a$$ bi! The look on his face when I said it, said it all. You know my daughter quit basketball shortly after. A cheerleader since she was 7 years old and she quit her senior year!
No sooner did I get home from the basketball game did I have a message on IG saying. "Learn how to talk to someone before approaching them like that in public". This cat is one psychotic MOFO. I think I responded with the laughing emoji and ended the conversation. We condone and allow this behavior for STAR athletes? Mind blowing!
Graduation came and by the grace of God she survived it. I still have no idea how, as on most day's I wasn't sure I would! The strength, resilience, and determination from that girl amazes me every day! She is wild and goofy, but such strength.
Any one care to guess what happened to the predator/abuser? Full ride to college on a football scholarship, got kicked out the first semester for abusing another female on campus. This is the kid our school district protected because of his status. I swear I wish our men/coaches would do better! Someone, somewhere has to standup against sexual assault, abuse, domestic violence, stalking, harassment! Quit condoning the behavior of your players, especially when it reflects YOU!
No joke babe, you won! The friends you thought you had turned out to be losers! Not one is winning in this life! Count your blessing and thank God for the enemies who made you stronger! Your purpose is bigger than all of it.
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